I was killing it today!! I got up early. I wrote a blog post. I took my two sons to a birthday party full of loud kids, an arcade, and laser tag. I stayed cool as a cucumber.
I have been having trouble these last few months with getting overstimulated. If there is too much noise, I literally have to plug my ears because the anxiety gets so bad. You can imagine how fun this can get working in a high school. But today, I was on fire! I chatted with the other parents, and I wasn’t anxious or aggravated with all the noise and chaos. BAM!!!
Then this thing happened, and it happens a lot. I want to know if this is familiar to anyone else. I was prepared for the party and ready to tackle it. On the way home, I got a call from my husband that I needed to swing by the store and pick up more ink for the printer and fire logs.
You would have thought he had asked me to climb Mt. Everest. This wasn’t part of the plan. I wasn’t able to keep driving to the store to pick up these simple things. I drove home instead. I figured I would just rest for a little bit and then head back out. That was 3 hours ago and I can’t get off the couch.
I keep running the process through my head: Put shoes on, grab keys, drive to Wal-mart, grab ink, grab fire logs, go to check out, pay, go back home. These are such simple tasks, but the idea of them is exhausting me. This should be easy! I am a functioning adult! I am paralyzed.
A simple unexpected errand has thrown my whole day off. I have to go. I am going to go right after I post this. I had planned to do tons of grading tonight. In my head, if go do the errands, I can’t do the grading. Lots of people do all kinds of different and productive things in a day. Of course I can go out and still grade papers, but in my head I am limited to what I had planned.
Does anyone else have these feelings? Do simple, unplanned tasks throw you into a panic?
I did kick ass at that birthday party though. Baby steps.
1. Put shoes on…….